A Neighbor Dropped By

Last week’s clinics were well beyond full. Actually there isn’t too much strain even when there are large numbers, since usually after I begin seeing patients I simply just keep plugging along one at a time. By the end of the day I usually make it home without much trauma to myself. One thing that is necessary though is a protection system that has a sense when people are there for the sole purpose of having their physical, psychological, or spiritual ills evaluated and treated, rather than persons who simply want to get to see the white Dr. to see if he will give them some money. (Please know, I have told these people over and over that I am a Registered Nurse and not a doctor but in recent years I have even given up on the explanation since it seems that the only thing in their understanding that differs between the two is their sex.) My usual interference for this job is Eden, my nurse helper, and Pastor Francois, who helps Eden out and also collects the money. They usually do a good job, but Thursday my first patient was a lady who was about 60 years old. She came in, greeted me, then when I ask her what her problem was she let me know that her only son had died. She told me that she had no husband and as she teared up she explained in great detail that she didn’t have enough money to go on with life. At this point I explained everything that she didn’t want to hear: the reasons why there was such a thing as a medical clinic, which was to treat problems of the patients who were having pain, sickness, or other things like that. I also told her that it was not my responsibility to take care of these problems for her but that of her family, friends, church and neighbors. . .

Then it hit me. I didn’t know the book or verse but I knew someone somewhere asked something like “Then who is my neighbor?” And I was simply defenseless.

Well, time passes. I got through the other patients that day, although it would have been easier had the first patient had a severe case of bronchitis or arthritis. I deal better with those. Did I give her money? No. Should I have? I still don’t know since I do know the reason for both sides of this argument. I did encourage her in her struggles though. I hope her other neighbors do better for her than I did.

And so it goes!

John

GUILT!

I’ve always been one who had a pretty easy time of not feeling too guilty about things that I’ve done or didn’t do. That attitude probably comes from my psychology classes in nursing school when we were taught that guilt really didn’t accomplish much of value except in the occasional instance when the guilt encouraged the person to do what he or she had been avoiding. So they emphasized that all we could do of value is to avoid the guilt feeling, admit what we have done to make things worse for ourselves or others, then go on with life.

With all that said I still find myself feeling guilty about not starting the clinics yet. You see, we returned to Haiti early in August since I felt a pressing need to get the clinic up and running by August 16^th, the day I had promised my patients that I would be back. Now, due to the almost continuous rains and the passing by of hurricane the roads to Prospere have been totally impassable. So on clinic days I write emails, get the cars serviced, putter around the house, do my leg exercises, visit friends in the hospital who are having surgery, and even blog.

But that still doesn’t take the guilt away. So for any of you who need an apology for my not reaching my goals, I am truly sorry.

Now, let this guilt garbage just go away. Now!

And so it goes!

John